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i am seventeen and invincible again | (21, they/them)

sanlanq-moving

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hollowboobtheory

sleepy-bebby

Steph:"my dad took over my hamster once i went back to college and ended up getting really attached and today he escaped and this goes to prove how truly pure my father is"

Texts between Steph and her dad about her hamster going missing. Padre:”Please call me a soon as you get this it's an emergency” Steph: “dad do not freak out it's just a hamster!! we will find him” Padre:”Oh my God I'm so sorry honey” “I'm so sorry l'm looking everywhere” “Im so wicked sorry I'II keep looking all day” “I Can't believe this.”

Padre:”This is the absolute worst ever” “I'm Never going to forgive myself if he doesn't come back” “Should I keep looking for him or is that going to scare him into hiding” “If I can't find him today I'm not going to work tomorrow so I can keep looking” Steph:”Dad- he's just a hamster i don't blame you at ALL. you shouldn't skip work you are a lawyer and he is a hamster”

Picture of a hamster enclosure with food and a ring of flour arranged around the food. Steph:”that looks good” “what's the white arc of bedding for? or is that bedding? what is that” Padre:”Flour So I can see his footsteps if he comes to get the food” Steph:”oh that's smart” Padre:”So I know he's still alive” Steph:”that's smart”

Padre:”I'm so sorry steph” “This is my biggest screwup ever. I will make it right” Steph:”No it's not” Padre:”I put him in his ball a whole bunch of times I should have double checked” “God is good I will trust him” “I know he likes peanut butter” “Peanuts” “That's a start”

follow up: He did find him!!!

Picture of Steph’s dad holding the hamster Steph:”OMG” “DID YOU GET HIM??” Padre:”Yes” “In his cage” “Are you effing kidding me”

Picture of the hamster jumping up towards Steph’s dad Padre:”The little bastard is trying to get out again” Steph:”arrest him” Padre:”This was the most stressful day in my life since I took the bar exam” “Night”

mommyhorror

”you are a lawyer he is a hamster” 😭😭😭😭

hollowboobtheory

lizardsister

"miku miku you can call me miku" is such a raw line that you'd think it was from hatsune miku. and it is

autisticmiqote

rars

hrghh another long and difficult day... TUMBLR!! fetch me a photo of The Fictional Character .....

fuck-customers

fuck-customers

rslashrats

rslashrats

i hate that this is on “bad two sentence horror” because its actually good

doyouknowwhatimeme

doyouknowwhatimeme

memewhore

memewhore

memewhore

memewhore

catchymemes

catchymemes

no bc the way i had this exact crisis in the shower one time and came to the conclusion that i must vanish and start my life anew in a little seaside village

dizzarye

dizzarye

Hi i made a tumblr! dunno how this works yet but ill post and compile some of my arts here <3